Nervous Flyer? How to Reduce In-Flight Anxiety
Despite my frequent travel (about 4-6 international and 8-10 domestic trips per year), I’ve had bouts of fear of flying throughout my life. When I was younger, I was a “white knuckler"—so nervous and tense that I was a ball of stress during the flight and I had anticipatory anxiety while buying a ticket or on the day of travel. I never dreamed I would be able to fly anywhere far away (such as Australia, Thailand, or Easter Island, the most remote inhabited island on earth)—but I'm proud to say that I've (mostly) conquered my fears and have been able to have amazing experiences as a result.
How Common is Fear of Flying?
If you also have some anxiety in the air, you're not alone--about 40% of the general population reports some fear of flying, with 2.5% reporting a clinical phobia that results in either avoidance of flying or significant distress while flying.
The late, great hall-of-fame football coach and broadcaster John Madden was legendary for his fear of flying, taking his "Madden Cruiser" tour bus to all of his broadcasting assignments after his final flight in 1979. (He had booked a flight from Tampa Bay to San Francisco, only making it to Houston before he got off the plane and never set foot on one again). Other celebrities who've disclosed a fear of flying include Jennifer Aniston, Ben Affleck, Sandra Bullock, Aretha Franklin, Kate Winslet, Whoopi Goldberg, William Shatner, Britney Spears, Miley Cyrus, and Colin Farrell.
What NOT to Do If You Have a Bad Flight
If you do have some fear of flying, the most important thing is that you NOT reinforce your fear by avoiding flying (like John Madden did). Besides missing out on great vacations or seeing loved ones, you WILL get more comfortable with flying the more you do it (in psychology we call this "habituation"). In 2018, we had a very turbulent flight within Australia, and 2 of the 4 members of my family did not want to continue on an even smaller plane to visit Kangaroo Island. I ended up talking to the pilot on the way out of the plane and he was very sweet and reassuring and encouraged me to take the next flight; it turned out to be a smooth and beautiful flight (the pre-flight drinks at 11 am probably didn't hurt) and we all agree that Kangaroo island was one of the most magical places we've ever visited.
Strategies to Combat Anxiety During Flight
Different strategies can be effective for different people. Some find that a pre-flight drink helps (one family member has a couple of glasses of wine before a flight and it calms his nerves). Others rely on a "little white pill"--an antianxiety medication such as Xanax or Klonopin. Others (like Jennifer Aniston) prefer therapy to meds or alcohol, because therapy can help get at the root of the problem--anxiety and irrational thoughts. In grad school, I tried hypnotherapy (which conditions you to associate a stressful event with relaxation) and loved it because it helped with both my flying phobia and my defend-your-dissertation phobia. There are also fear-of-flying courses taught by pilots that culminate in an actual flight (Richard Branson's Virgin Atlantic course helped Whoopie Goldberg), but these can be pretty expensive.
An Inexpensive Strategy: Buy a Book
Probably the least expensive method is to buy a book. There are many books written by current or former airline pilots that explain all of the safety features and backup systems on an airplane, and this knowledge can definitely help ease anxiety. One book that I highly recommend (I read it several years ago and again for this post) is called "SOAR: The Breakthrough Treatment for Fear of Flying," which is about $11 on Amazon (kindle or paperback). [Note that I don't get any kickbacks for recommending this book, but I found it both interesting to read and helpful.]
In addition to providing the usual information about how flying works and why it's safe, the author, Captain Bunn, gives a clear and understandable explanation of how our nervous system--working in the background to keep us generally safe--overreacts to noises and motions and releases stress hormones that cause anxiety. He then guides the reader step-by-step through ways to both permanently and automatically control these feelings, including both pre-flight "strengthening" exercises (in which you link flight situations to moments of personal connection with a love one) and in-flight exercises (e.g., the 54321 grounding technique--think of 5 things you can see, 4 you can feel, 3 you can hear, 2 you can smell, and 1 you can taste) that inhibit the release of stress hormones, even during turbulence. According to Bunn, most flyers experience significant relief in flying anxiety in just a week's time (although I felt better even after I just finished the book). Bunn's explanations and methods are scientifically grounded in "polyvagal theory," a revolutionary theory (currently trendy in the world of therapy) advanced by Stephen Porges, PhD, who is a professor of psychiatry and founding director of the Kinsey Institute for Traumatic Stress Research at the Indiana University.
Other Things That Might Help
When possible, choose bigger planes, which are more stable and feel less bumpy during turbulence. For international/long-haul flights, I try to choose wide-body planes (i.e., those with two aisles, such as 747, 767, 777, 787, a330) over narrow-body planes (those with one aisle, such as 737, a320, 757). You can use Seatguru.com to to find the type of plane and layout for any flight. For an upcoming trip to Africa, I asked our travel agent to avoid small/light planes, which she was easily able to do. (It's not that small planes are less safe, but that pilot error is the cause of most crashes, and small planes generally have pilots with less experience and training).
Upgrade your seat. I've found that having nicer seats, more legroom, and special treatment is distracting; somehow fewer stress hormones shoot out when you’re getting served from a hot fudge sundae cart to go with your Port wine and lobster. Since I started miles hacking and flying business class on international flights, I have noticeably less anxiety and also look forward to the whole experience more).
Sit near the wing (the plane's center of gravity), which will feel less bumpy during turbulence (just in front of the wings and engine will give you a quieter flight as well, and the wing exit row will give you both more leg room and a smoother flight). See my tips for choosing the best airplane seat.
Read about how safe airplanes and air travel are here or here.
Check out some fear-of-flying apps (including Captain Bunn's SOAR app, turbulence forecasters, flight risk calculators, etc.)